Check In Question: Who would play you in a play/movie?
- Miranda: I guess Anne Hathaway because that’s what I’ve been told. Lysithea would be played by Loenie von Reagen, a famous Tiefling actress that can play angry people well.
- Victor: Kirby, my imaginary friend would play me. I play Blobby.
- Kevin: Michael Cera with glasses or something. Gobbles will play himself. No, actually Gobbles will be played by Grogu.
- Justice: I’ve been told Jack Black for me, that I look like him. Hanneman would have only the top performer, Ignatio deTaurus, to play him.
- Cordelia: Mara Wilson when she was young (we helped her with this one). Surina will be played by Brownie McSprinkles the Changeling.
- Hannah: I’ve been told Kat Dennings and I’m very flattered by that. Unfortunately for Alba, Owlin actresses and actors are few and fine between, so when it came time to cast her part she was played by a puppeteer, Jym Heensoyn, with a very well crafted marionette.
When we last left the party, they had decided to use Truckasaurus to chug their way from the anti-Fey dungeon to Naima. A shopping episode commenced before heading north through the pass to get to the volcano region where Lysithea is from. Their travel was interrupted by Axel, Lysithea’s former classmate who tried to extort them for money. The altercation ended with Axel running away, Gobbles chasing after him, and tying him up.
Lysithea: You could have just let him run, Gobbles.
Gobbles: Nah.
Lysithea: Well, we’re going to have to take him somewhere, or are we going to untie him? What was your plan here, Gobbles?
Gobbles: Making it up as I go along.
Lysithea: Uh huh…
Gobbles: We can turn him in to the police.
Lysithea: That won’t do anything. I mean, we’re not exactly close to where his parents live. I really don’t feel like dragging him that far.
Gobbles: We could get a marker and draw things on him.
Lysithea: Now that is fine! Go for it.
Gobbles takes out a marker and writes “I’m a thief and I’m bad at my job” on Axel’s forehead. Lysithea draws a monocle and mustache on his face.
Lysithea: I think we should untie him, let him take a nap, tie a note to him that says “I’m gonna tell your parents”, and we can leave. He’ll wake up with a headache and maybe he’ll think twice about this scheme.
Alba: Sh-sh-should we remove his w-weapon?
Surina: Remove curse!
Lysithea: Should we bury his weapon?
Surina: REMOVE CURSE!
Lysithea: Did you just say “Remove Curse”?
Surina nods wildly and casts Remove Curse on Axel’s Gambler’s Blade, removing the curse from Axel and separating him from the blade.
Blobby: Now I can eat it!
Gobbles: Or we can sell it.
Blobby: Yeah, let’s sell it first! Then drop it.
Lysithea: Put it in the bag.
Surina: We could just put it in a sailboat and let it sail to another continent.
Blobby: Or bury it.
Lysithea: Let’s put it in the bag and sell it. And now we can leave. Now, if you guys wouldn’t mind, I know we need to get supplies so that we can go to the tundra and take care of what’s there, but we are really close to my teacher’s training grounds and I would like to stop by to see if he’s there. Would that be okay? I haven’t been here since I left for Dalvok and I’d like for him to know I’m alive.
The party nods. Truckasaurus is up and running again, so they all climb in and drive off in a manner that coats the sleeping Axel in ash and dust. Lysithea constantly casts Ray of Frost on the engine to keep it from overheating again. They are able to travel for about a day, but the terrain gradually becomes more rocky and Truckasaurus starts having trouble again.
Lysithea: Maybe we should find a parking spot.
The party leaves Truckasaurus with Professor, who is determined to fix the vehicle so it can handle the terrain, and make their way towards wherever Lysithea is leading them. They come to a runic circle with a stone gateway in the center. The gateway is not active and looks like an empty door frame. Lysithea explains that this is where the Tieflings that inhabit this area came to the material plane over 1,000 years ago. The gateway has not worked since. People have spent countless years trying to reactivate the portal, but to no avail. Along the gate is an inscription in Infernal that reads “Hope is Not Lost” and speaks a message of hope for those coming to the new land. This is one of the areas that Lysithea’s teacher uses as a training ground.
The party begins to approach the gateway to get a closer look when there is a sudden burst of smoke! Lysithea rolls her eyes. A figure appears in the gateway, and calls out in a deep booming voice.
Lysithea: Oh my god…
Figure: THE TEST SHALL BEGIN. THOSE WHO WILL BE FOUND WORTHY CAN STEP WITHIN THE RUNE STONES. FEAR NOT, FOR THIS IS ONLY A TEST.
Lysithea: Hanneman, I don’t need a test right now!
Black and red Firebolts jettison from the smoke.
Lysithea: Always with the theatrics… Hanneman, I’ve done this already!
Hanneman: YOU MAY HAVE TAKEN THE TEST BEFORE, BUT YOU HAVE NOT BEEN TESTED IN SOME TIME.
Lysithea: I beg to differ!
The smoke clears revealing an elderly man with tanned skin, staff in hand, braided beard, turban on his head. He’s dressed in black robes with red highlights.
Hanneman: It’s about time you came back.
Lysithea: Yeah… A lot happened… has happened… and will continue to happen.
Hanneman: Been protecting?
Lysithea: You have no idea…
Hanneman: Excellent! Excellent. Well, your friends haven’t taken the test.
Alba: L-Lysithea, what s-subject is the test on?!
Lysithea: Well… stamina, pain resistance, magic, this one is probably patience.
Gobbles: I can do most of those.
Lysithea: Which test are you about to put us through? And do I have to do it?
Hanneman: You don’t have to…
Lysithea: Okay, fine…
Hanneman opens up a book and begins to flip through the pages.
Hanneman: Let’s see… You aced that one, you aced that one… you aced that one…
Lysithea: I aced all of them!
Hanneman: A-HA! I’ve been saving this one.
Lysithea: Oh no…
He reaches into a pack on his back and takes out a bottle. (Perception Gobbles 13, Blobby 16, Surina 17, Lysithea 14, Alba adjusted 20) Surina and Alba can see swirling smoke of black and red that begins to spark. They describe this to the party. (Arcana Lysithea 21, Alba 12, Gobbles 19) The jar is containing not just magic but something that it is holding within it.
Lysithea: You made a new test?!
Hanneman: Part of it’s old!
Lysithea instantly casts her Mage Armor as Hanneman begins a summoning. An earth elemental and smaller but armored earth elemental rise from the ground. Hannemen then calls out some magic words and throws the bottle to the ground. A red, muscular being, about 12 ft tall rises from the smoke the bottle releases. The being is wearing a black silk kilt and gold bands on his wrists and ankles. His belt itself is gold. (Arcana Lysithea 17, Alba 23) The Efreeti, earth elemental, and earth elemental myrmidon stand ready.
Lysithea: We can take a second to figure them out if we want. He hasn’t said “start” yet. That’s how tests work. No cheating, Hanneman!
Lysithea (arcana 19) informs her friends that earth elementals are made from the earth itself. Their whole bodies consist of stone and that if it attacks objects or structures it will probably do double damage. Gobbles (arcana 11) knows that Efreeti are of the elemental plane, but nothing more. Alba (arcana 23) adds that Efreeti are a type of genie native to the Elemental Plane of Fire. They can cast spells and are very difficult to harness, but will sometimes make deals to work together with another. They are all about honor and acquisition.
Alba: A m-m-most im-impressive ally, Master H-Hanneman.
Hanneman: I know!
(Arcana 16) Blobby does an interpretive, bouncy dance to relay to the party that the earth myrmidon is using a great maul made of earth itself and is wearing plate mail forged from the irons of the ground.
Hanneman: May the test… BEGIN!
There is a flourish of smoke as Hanneman disappears.
Gobbles: Aw, man…
May the Test Begin!
(Initiative Gobbles 16, Blobby 10, Lysithea 15, Alba 10, Surina Nat20+1)
Excited for action, Surina rushes in and Misty Steps, landing in front of the myrmidon. She pulls out her Dragon Sword and slashes at the myrmidon (attack 24) for 11 slashing, 13 fire, and 7 radiant damage. She swings again (attack 15), but her aim goes wide and she misses. The Efreeti casts Wall of Fire. An opaque wall of flame forms, blocking most of the party’s view of the field. (Gobbles dexterity save Nat1) Gobbles, the only one in the direct proximity of the wall, takes 29 damage from the extreme heat. The earth elemental moves forward to tower over Surina and slams into her with its club-like arms for 15 damage. It tries to slam her again, but she spins and deflects the attack off of her shield. Gobbles immediately jumps through the Wall of Fire, casting Absorb Elements as he does so. His reaction causes him to take only 11 damage and absorb 12 fire damage. Once he is through the wall he casts Protection from Good and Evil, giving attacks against him disadvantage. Finally, he casts Hexblade’s curse on the Efreeti and takes cover behind some stones. Lysithea takes a deep breath and reaches out for something that can protect her and her friends. A shimmering orb of purple and black surrounds her in a 10 ft radius. She eyes the Globe of Invulnerability, smirks, and walks to stand in the Wall of Fire. The flames die out in the 10 ft radius around her as they cannot penetrate the globe.
Lysithea: Oh, that’s a new trick.
She then Quicken Spells a Ray of Frost at the Efreeti (attack 12), but it dodges the attack. Lysithea, still smirking, continues to stand in the Wall of Fire so Alba can get through.
Lysithea: Hanneman, you watching?
Hanneman: That I am!
Blobby, not wanting to take a test, distracts himself with his own gelatinous form and just sits there, jiggling. Alba moves up to stand next to Lysithea, gaining the benefit of protection from the globe. She casts Guardian of Faith 10 ft in front of her. As the guardian appears there is a deep bass BOOM, like the deepest firework one could possibly hear. The silvery guardian looks like a Dragonborn, carrying a sword and shield emblazoned with the symbol of Bahamut. The myrmidon takes its maul made of rock and slams at Surina, but she blocks with her shield.
Surina swings against the earth elemental (attack 12, 16), but her attacks deflect off its shin. It lets out a loud roar in triumph. The Efreeti casts Enlarge on itself, but Lysithea counterspells, letting out a “No” as she does. The earth elemental slams back against Surina, hitting her for 10 damage and again for 10 more damage. Gobbles sings himself a little song, granting himself Bardic Inspiration. He then attacks the Efreeti with his warhammer (attack 19) for 4 bludgeoning, 4 Hexblade’s Curse, 4 Fury of the Small, and 12 radiant damage from Divine Smite. Lysithea summons her Hound of Ill Omen on the Efreeti. The form of the hound emerges from the gateway and moves to bite its new target (attack 19). The hound chomps into the Efreeti’s leg for 8 damage. Lysithea tries Ray of Frost on the Efreeti again (attack 16) but just misses. Lysithea takes a deep breath in order to center herself. She realizes it’s been a long time since she’s had a test and was psyching herself out, causing her to miss. She reminds herself that she’s aced every test she’s taken, plus has since fought much tougher things than this. Seeing Lysithea’s frustration, Alba takes a step forward and casts Bless on the whole party. The myrmidon tries to hit Surina, but she dodges every attack.
Surina slashes her sword at the myrmidon (attack 22) for 11 slashing, 11 fire, and 7 radiant damage. She spins and slashes again (attack 15), but misses. The sword of the Guardian hammers down like a gavel on the Efreeti for 10 damage as the Efreeti moves to the other side of Gobbles. The Hound tries to bite its leg (attack 11), but merely rips some of the fabric off of its kilt. Fire begins to swirl around the Efreeti’s sword as he moves, and then strikes at Gobbles. Gobbles quickly reacts with Shield, blocking the attack. The Efreeti swings at Gobbles again, but misses. The whirlwind of fire continues to circle its sword as it stands ready to strike Gobbles again. The elemental continues to slam Surina, dealing 8 and 15 damage with its fists. Gobbles fights back against the Efreeti (attack 21), dealing 4 bludgeoning, 4 Fury of the Small, 4 Hexblade’s Curse, and 18 Divine Smite damage. The Efreeti growls at Gobbles and speaks in Ingan. Luckily, Gobbles has a helm of Comprehend Language and can understand.
Efreeti: You little green being. I will smite you and burn you in ash!
Gobbles: I’m not a green bean! And you’re ash, or whatever! *sticks his tongue out*
The Hound of Ill Omen walks through both Gobbles and the Efreeti in order to flank the Efreeti with Gobbles. It tries to bite again (attack 15) but misses. With Alba now safely out of the Wall of Fire, Lysithea moves forward and transmutes Scorching Ray to Freezing Ray and blasts at the Efreeti (attack 30, 24, 24), dealing a total 22 cold damage. Alba casts Heal on Surina, healing her for 70 hit points. As she casts, magical sparks shoot up from the ground around Surina and a loud “PEW PEW PEW” is heard as the spell brings the mighty Paladin back to full health. The myrmidon, seeing the Paladin fully healed, lashes out against her. Sonic energy forms around its maul and a loud crash is heard as it strikes her for 10 force and 28 thunder damage (strength saving throw 8). The mighty blow knocks Surina to the ground.
Surina stands back up and moves behind the myrmidon, bringing her out of reach of the elemental. She retaliates against the myrmidon (attack 18), slicing it for 7 slashing, 15 fire, and 6 radiant damage. Her second attack (attack 27) deals an additional 12 slashing, 15 fire, and 7 radiant damage. The Efreeti moves, (attack Nat20) taking 17 damage from The Hound as it chomps into its ankle. Flames whip furiously around its sword as it strikes Gobbles, dealing him a devastating 37 fire and 10 slashing damage. Gobbles reacts with Absorb Elements to reduce some of the fire damage. He does manage to maintain concentration on Protection from Good and Evil, thanks to Alba’s Bless. Gobbles is quite injured and needs an adult. The Efreeti swings at Gobbles again, but fortunately misses. The elemental is not smart and charges towards Gobbles, taking 20 damage from the Guardian of Faith. He lets out a loud roar as he smashes Gobbles into the ground, dealing 12 bludgeoning damage. Gobbles lets out a “moo” as a response before taking 8 more damage from the elemental’s second attack. Gobbles is now unconscious.
Lysithea: Oh no, Gobbles!
(Gobbles death saving throw 17) The Hound moves behind its target (attack 19) and bites it for 9 damage. Lysithea casts Blight on the elemental. It takes 48 necrotic damage as the vitality is sucked away, causing rocks to chip and fall away from it. The elemental screams at Lysithea, who sticks out her tongue back at it. Alba looks at the downed Gobbles and plants her standard in the ground, using Channel Divinity to bring him back to half health. A loud *pop* goes off as a firework shoots upward out of her standard. The myrmidon continues its assault on Surina, and Surina continues to deflect its attacks.
Surina is ready to be done with the myrmidon and slashes wildly at it (attack 28), dealing 9 slashing, 15 fire, and 8 radiant damage. The myrmidon is looking really weak. Surina tries to deal the final blow to it (attack 16), but her sword deflects off its armor. The Efreeti saw the popping firework from Alba’s Channel Divinity, but wasn’t sure what happened. It peers closely at Gobbles, who is playing dead, and realizes he is not dead.
Efreeti: I said you would burn!
Gobbles: I already did!
He hates Gobbles with a fiery passion, and stabs down at the prone Goblin, dealing him 18 slashing and 19 fire damage. Absorb Elements reduces the fire damage yet again, but Gobbles is barely up. The Efreeti stabs again, reducing Gobbles remaining hit points back to 0. Gobbles falls unconscious once again. The elemental charges at Lysithea, punching her for 10 damage. Lysithea reacts with Hellish Rebuke, transmuting it to deal thunder damage. The elemental is vulnerable to thunder and takes a total 30 thunder damage. It lets out a loud scream as it begins to shake and fall apart. Pebbles and rocks fall at Lysithea’s feet as the elemental has been defeated. Gobbles bleeds in a congratulatory manner (death saving throw 4). The Hound continues to stalk and bite the Efreeti (attack 24) for 8 damage.
Lysithea lets go of the Globe of Vulnerability and casts Bigby’s Hand right over the Efreeti. The necrotic hand slams down its head (attack 20) for 19 force damage. She doesn’t want Gobbles to get hit again so she Quicken Spells and casts Ray of Frost at the Efreeti (attack 25), dealing 14 cold damage and reducing its speed by 10 ft. Alba casts Life Transference, taking 10 of her own health to grant 25 to Gobbles. Alba is granted 5 hit points back as she is a Life Cleric.
Efreeti: Next is you!
Lysithea: He gets knocked down, he gets back up again!
The myrmidon continues to try to strike Surina, but the Paladin continues to block its attacks. Surina strikes back (attack 17), but the myrmidon blocks. She strikes again (attack 29), this time unleashing a Divine Smite, dealing 6 slashing, 14 fire, and a total 22 radiant damage. The myrmidon is barely standing. Gobbles tries once again to hide the fact that he is conscious. His acting was much better this time and the Efreeti falls for the ruse. Instead it casts Gaseous Form on itself and moves on top of Gobbles’s body. The Hound bites at the misty cloud (attack 24), which takes only 4 damage from the attack. Gobbles opens his eyes to see the gas above him, then looks over to where Surina is engaged in combat and Misty Steps to flank with her. The cloud cannot talk, but Gobbles can feel in his spirit the utter hatred coming from it as he steps away. Gobbles brings his warhammer down on the myrmidon’s head (attack adjusted 20), dealing 4 bludgeoning, 4 Fury of the Small, 7 fire from Green Flame Blade, and 18 radiant damage from Divine Smite. The myrmidon finally falls! The Hound leaps to attack the cloud (attack 9), but goes right through it. Lysithea casts Magic Missile at 3rd level at the Efreeti cloud, dealing a total 18 force damage.
Alba: This is just silly.
Alba is ready to ace this test (attack 27) and fires a 5th level Guiding Bolt at the Efreeti. The giant silver firework, lead by a massive, silver dragon head, shoots forth from Alba and engulfs mist Efreeti, exploding with a crackle and a pop for 30 radiant damage. The Efreeti’s solid body reforms and the smoke completely encompasses him. The smoke dissipates and the massive scimitar falls to the ground with a *tink tink*, searing the already scorched earth. The Efreeti is nowhere to be seen having been defeated and removed from this plane.
The Test is Done!
Alba runs up to Gobbles letting out panicked screams.
Alba: A-A-A-A-A-A-ARE YOU OKAY?!?!
Gobbles: I lost a lot of ketchup.
Black and red Firebolts shoot up from the ground again and Hanneman reappears in a puff of smoke.
Hanneman: YOU HAVE PASSED!
Lysithea: Did you know what our abilities were, or were you trying to murder us?
Hanneman: Well… *cough cough cough* Too much smoke, too much smoke that time… Well, uh.. I knew… I could sense your abilities.
Lysithea: Uh-huh…
Hanneman: You know, he’s heavily armored.
Lysithea: Yeah, but so were some of the other kids at school and they tripped over their own shoelaces all the time!
Gobbles starts trying to eat his own blood in order to put it back in his body. Alba is trying to stop him but he’s too strong for her.
Lysithea: Gobbles, no, that’s not how it works…
Hanneman: But… what is he doing?
Gobbles: Don’t worry about it. I dropped a lot of my ketchup. I’m just getting it back in.
Alba turns around, gagging.
Lysithea: We have a lot to talk about.
(Perception Lysithea 17, Gobbles 25, Alba 24) A loud engine can be heard from overhead.
Lysithea: Oh no, is that them?
Gobbles: Looks like we got Kobold Guys.
Just as the party was regaining their senses, the Kower Rangers jump down around the Efreeti’s scimitar and quickly grab it. Lysithea encases them in a circular Wall of Fire, and Gobbles casts Entangle to trap them there; they take 24 fire damage from the flames, but the Entangle gets Counterspelled.
Lysithea: Hanneman, stop them!
Kower Ranger: HAHA! This weapon will do wonders on our –
Lysithea: You guys are morons!
Hanneman prepares to cast a spell, but before he can cast the eye beams from the sky ship’s Beholder figurehead starts shooting beams at the party. Cannons from the ship also begin to fire. The party has to take cover to not get obliterated. The scorched Kower Rangers leap up out of the flames and onto ropes to climb back onto the ship, scimitar in hand.
Kower Ranger: HA! The win is ours!
Hanneman: Just let them go. *whispers* They can’t use that weapon.
Lysithea: They have my parent’s technology!
Hanneman: We’ll talk about that.
Lysithea: We have a lot to talk about.
Lysithea shakes her fists at the ship as it flies away.
Hanneman: Well, you passed the test, that was strange. Those Kobolds have been around lately.
Lysithea: I noticed. You guys are just letting them steal stuff?
Hanneman: Letting them? No. That sword is cursed and belongs to Lord Hareeq. They won’t be able to do anything with it.
Lysithea: Okay, but what are you doing about these Kobolds?
Hanneman: The cities are protected, and we don’t let them near the volcano.
Lysithea: They better not go near the volcano!
Hanneman: They’re just seven Kobolds.
Lysithea: How did they get the airship? Can we go inside?
Hanneman opens a portal and ushers the party through. A reluctant Gobbles eventually joins, seeing that his blood is boiling away on the hot ground.
The other side of the portal puts the party in Hanneman’s wizard tower. They are in a room with all manner of various contraptions, bottles, and potions.
Hanneman: Let us talk. A few months ago one of the experimental airships got stolen, but not by the Kobolds. These priests dressed in white –
Lysithea: Priests in white? Before you go any further, my turn.
Lysithea proceeds to tell Hanneman everything that has happened since she left, including Rhu.
Hanneman: Well, that goes along with what we’ve been seeing. This one you call Rhu, and this other chaos deity, there have been writings on them, but it has been quite a while.
Lysithea: Rhu had been sealed away for a long time. *under her breath* That dumb kid…
Hanneman: Yes. Recently we were visited by the Knights of Barlsod.
Lysithea: They were here?!
Hanneman: They sent a group up.
Lysithea: Was there a Goblin and a doofy looking guy and a grown woman with them? Doofy looking, like a muscular guy that was alway trying to spice up your food?
Hanneman: There was not.
Lysithea: Where did they go?
Hanneman: Anyway, they came looking for any of these Rhu items. But we don’t have any.
Lysithea: But if you find any, obviously, don’t tell the Knights.
Hanneman: Of course. But these priests in white which correspond with the priests of chaos came and stole an airship.
Lysithea: So the Kobold’s mayhem is related to this?
Gobbles: Maybe the Kobolds stole it from them.
Lysithea: I don’t think they’re that competent. They may be dextrous but they did not seem competent.
Gobbles: I mean, look how colorful they are! I mean, competence and color go hand-in-hand. That’s why rainbows are so hard to catch. It’s science.
Alba would whack Gobbles on the back of the head but he’s already taken so much damage.
Hanneman: The Kobolds have been trying to get near the volcano.
Lysithea: That can’t happen.
Hanneman: But you, you have gotten stronger! I wouldn’t have let them kill you.
Lysithea: What about him?! *points to Gobbles*
Hanneman: What about him? He didn’t die.
Lysithea: Oh my god…
Hanneman: It was a scientific study.
Lysithea: I thought you said it was a test.
Hanneman: It was a test for you and a study for me.
Lysithea: Hanneman, we talked about this! I don’t get to be used for your things!
Hanneman: You didn’t! He was.
Lysithea: Oh my god… Same thing for people that I bring! No more! Unless I volunteer them.
Hanneman: You have gotten stronger and I am sure that your parents would want to see you and throw a feast.
Lysithea: Do they have time to see me?
Hanneman: Probably not. But your village will!
Lysithea: The village will be happy to see me?
Hanneman: They’ll welcome you back. Have you gotten the answers about the book?
Alba: Book?
Lysithea quickly motions for Hanneman to be quiet.
Hanneman: But they’re your friends.
Lysithea: *death glare*
Gobbles: We’ve seen lots of books.
Lysithea: We have a book that will get us into the Neighborhood Library.
Hanneman: I’ve always wanted to go.
Lysithea: You don’t get to have it! We worked very hard for that book!
Hanneman: Have you gone?
Lysithea: Not yet. Every time we think we have time something else turns up on that map. We do have to go to the village anyway. We need supplies to go to the Tundra.
Hanneman: If you’re heading to the Tundra I’ll assume out front is your vehicle?
Lysithea: Yes. That’s also why I wanted to see Mom and Dad. I wanted to see if they had anything for the airship that will work for our car.
Hanneman: You might be able to borrow an airship.
Lysithea: You think they’d let me drive?
Hanneman: I think they would let you borrow the airship.
Lysithea: That… that would be faster and… yes. That’s why we’re here in the first place. We need potions and things to survive the Tundra. Especially me. Cold and I don’t mix well.
Hanneman: It looked like you were using cold spells just fine.
Lysithea: Yes, but that’s because they’re not on me.
Hanneman: Well, you’re going to have to let me test you again later on.
Surina: No.
Lysithea: I am?
Hanneman: Tests are important.
Lysithea: Do I get to graduate at any point?
Hanneman looks Lysithea over, turns his gaze to Gobbles and turns him into a turtle.
Hanneman: Can you cast that, yet?
Lysithea: Why would I want to?!
Hanneman: It shows your control of magic.
Lysithea: When has that been the end goal?!
Hanneman: Knowing everything about magic?
Turtle Gobbles tries to run, but Alba walks over and picks him up.
Lysithea: My magic is not exactly geared towards that.
Hanneman: It doesn’t matter, you still learn it.
Hanneman lets go of True Polymorph and Gobbles returns to Goblin-mode. Alba wraps her arms around Gobbles, half in a hug, and half in just trying to get him to stay still.
Gobbles: I’m shell shocked.
Lysithea: Booooo!
Hanneman: I worked my only 9th level spell on that… I’m kidding!
Lysithea: Fine… I have spells of up to the “6th level” or however you rank them.
Hanneman: That’s right, I keep forgetting. You don’t have a spell book.
Lysithea: No, I don’t need one.
Surina: Cause she’s not a wizard.
Hanneman: But I am. Some of us have to study and learn our magic. That’s why you are tested.
Lysithea: Speaking of tested, do I need to do any blood work while I’m here?
Hanneman: No, no, I think you’re fine. Have you noticed any changes in you?
Lysithea: I’ve been so stressed I honestly don’t know.
Hanneman: Well, your magic has grown.
Lysithea: Yes. A lot.
Hanneman: Have you experienced any dizzy spells? Nausea?
Lysithea: Well, there was that time we were in that spinning room in Thistle’s dungeon (see Session 12)…
Right on cue, the party can hear the clinking of bottles.
Thistle: Eye of Newt, Feet of Newt, Tongue of Newt… He has all the parts of the newt!
Hanneman: What was that sound?
Lysithea: You remember Gobbles’s “patron” that we talked about while I was discussing everything that happened to us?
Hanneman: He’s here? But patrons don’t –
Lysithea: *air quotes* PA-TRON! *wink wink*
Gobbles: He’s inside all of us.
Lysithea: He’s playing with your bottles.
Hanneman: *leaps up* WAIT, WAIT!
Thistle: Your categorical skills need some work. You have Eye of Bat next to Eye of Newt. That should really go next to Eye of Basilisk. You know, alphabetically.
Gobbles looks at the Eye of Basilisk and lets out an “Oooooo” as he reaches for it, but Alba pushes him out of the way.
Hanneman: Stop that!
Thistle: New friend, let me know, what do you need?
Gobbles: Whatever looks the tastiest!
Thistle: Okay, tasty… Eye of Newt sounds good!
Gobbles: Okay!
Lysithea: Hey Hanneman, you wanna do some experiments?
Hanneman: Yes?
Lysithea: Gobbles, show him your tankards.
Gobbles excitedly starts pulling out all of his tankards filled with the various liquids and oozes he has collected on his adventures.
Hanneman: What? WHY?!?
Lysithea: He likes to drink them.
Hanneman takes out calipers and begins measuring Gobbles.
Gobbles: Here’s one of Hand Sand, here’s the spicy margarita from the jungle, uh, here’s George’s Juice, here’s the spicy clay, here’s the cat science goo –
Surina: Cat science goo?
Hanneman: You must donate your mind to me when you die.
Gobbles: Oh no, that’s going to either Bahamut or Thistle.
Hanneman: How long have you been drinking these things?
Gobbles: As long as I can.
Gobbles picks a tankard at random and takes a sip. It was labeled “Gelatinous Cube from Jackal-ville Mississippi”. Alba has yet to experience this part of Gobbles. She watched in horror as tankard after tankard was brought out, and began gagging as he drank from one.
Surina: Gobbles just does this. Wait, you still have that one?
Gobbles: *takes 10 acid damage* It has a kick to it.
Lysithea: I think his stomach… There’s something with his gut. He eats nothing by Hydra-Meat burgers.
Hanneman: Now, don’t you go insulting Hydra-Meat burgers.
Lysithea: We don’t even have a franchise here!
Hanneman: You know, someone came to me with an investment opportunity, and we opened one. You should try the Spicy Hydra-Meat.
Lysithea: *look of disapproval* I’ve tried it.
Hanneman: Made with our peppers?
Lysithea: I’m not eating another Hydra-Meat burger. I’d rather eat the actual food from our community.
Hanneman: Yes. Of course. It’s by the air docks.
Lysithea: Hanneman, I’m disappointed in you.
Hanneman: No, see, it was an experiment.
Lysithea: Uh-huh…
Hanmeman: It tasted good..
Lysithea: Right… For shame.
Hanneman: So… any more questions? I have one for you. That dagger. Where did you get it?
Lysithea: I told you, from the throat of a troll in the sewers of Ryphyet. (see Session 26)
Hanneman: But… where did they get the troll?
Lysithea: That city is messed up.
Hanneman: Because that dagger, it has even greater power.
Lysithea: So, like I had told you, when we were in that area of the Shadowfell in the jungle, some of my powers were heightened when I channeled them through the dagger instead of my necklace.
Hanneman: Just be careful. Each artifact you have stabbed –
Lysithea: It absorbs it.
Hanneman: Yes. Just don’t let it fall into the wrong hands.
Lysithea: Yeah, I’m very good at that. Right now, this dagger is the only way we have to destroy Rhu’s artifacts. If anyone finds out we have it, it means either someone in this group talked, you talked, or Gobbles’s patron’s friend talked. Or that dragon.
Hanneman: And have you been to Barlsod’s underground? Have you seen anything in it?
Lysithea: We didn’t get to see much. We were only shown the first chamber. (see Session 29)
Hanneman: Don’t let them get it.
Lysithea: Oh, definitely not! That place is gonna blow.
Hanneman: It is. They keep trying to buy things from me.
Lysithea: Don’t let them. That Lord Commander is mad with power.
Hanneman: I taught him. Once.
Lysithea: That’s new information.
Hanneman: You weren’t born yet.
Hanneman: He doesn’t have very much power.
Lysithea: No, he doesn’t, but he wears a lot. Like I said, he is mad with power. Still… anyone else you taught I might run into?
Hanneman: Um… I’ve taught many people. No one recently. Besides you. Not since you left. Your friend came though, once, to the ruins. Axel. You went to school with him.
Lysithea: Ugh, that guy. We just beat the snot out of him for trying to make us pay a toll. I’m going to tell his parents when we pass through.
Hanneman: The oldest trick in the book.
Gobbles: Theft?
Lysithea: He didn’t do a good job of it, either.
Hanneman: Have you discovered any other magic in your travels?
Gobbles: I have a couple of bags of wasps.
Surina: Dont.. just don’t…
Lysithea: Well, there was Queen Themaphila… (see Session 18)
Hannamen: I am fascinated with reopening the gate.
Lysithea: Oh, like that? Why do you want to open the gate back up so bad?
Hanneman: It’s not that I want to open it up that badly, I just want to know why the magic has gone away.
Lysithea: Maybe it’s gone for a reason. After everything we’ve seen, some things are better left dead.
Gobbles: When we were in the jungle I got this scale from this giant creature that could phase through reality. I don’t know if that will help.
Hanneman grabs the scale and puts it under a microscope.
Hanneman: This is… Fey.
Lysithea: Yes, the jungle is very Fey based. I feel like it’s connected to the Fey Realm.
Hanneman: This magic shouldn’t go through to the material plane.
Lysithea: The Fey do what they want. Right Thistle?
Thistle looks up with his mouth full of newt parts and nods. He then turns invisible and starts shoving Eye of Salamander into Gobbles’s pockets for later.
Lysithea: We haven’t seen any kind of magic that would help with the gate. We’ve seen Rhu’s magic, Fey magic, Queen Themaphila’s stuff. I also believe the diva in Naima is a lich.
Hanneman: I haven’t told many, but you may be correct. But she doesn’t hurt anybody. At least not that we know of. I just enjoy the opera when I get to go. She has perfected her skill.
Lysithea: She’s probably had a long time to do that.
Hanneman: Well, do you want to drive to your parents?
Lysithea: I don’t know if our car will make it.
Hanneman: If you want, we can just go straight there.
Hanneman opens up another teleportation portal to Lysithea’s home village, and the party steps through…
End Session
Check Out
Spotlight On Another Player:
- Miranda: Hannah for saving Gobbles so many times. Just so many times.
- Kevin: Hannah for both the actual numeric help and all the roleplaying that accompanied it.
- Cordelia: Gobbles trying to put his blood back in.
- Hannah: Lysithea, we’re going into her space and she’s really interesting.
- Justice: Cordelia because she was making comments as Surina. She was saying things a lot more.
Challenge or Something Learned:
- Miranda: I’m learning more details about my backstory as I go.
- Kevin: 22 AC is not enough.
- Hannah: Motivational Speech takes a whole minute to cast.
- Cordelia: I was distracted by losing a tooth and Gravity Falls today.
- Justice: Constant balance and timing. Getting combat to move faster but still be challenging.
Hope or Prediction for Next Session:
- Miranda: I’m just excited to see more of my area.
- Kevin: Gobbles is going to try to get him a tankard of volcano juice.
- Hannah: I’m really excited to see Miranda’s backstory and it’s making me excited to make my backstory.
- Cordelia: Tundra dungeon!!!
- Justice: I want to see more of this area, what Miranda wants, and how I can work with it.
Analysis: This was an interesting session for the kids. First, Victor was very excited to participate, but he left during combat! It’s usually the opposite – he hangs out in the other room during roleplay and exploration and joins in when it’s time for combat. He was in more of a story telling mood today, I guess. Cordelia has been on a roll with her engagement, jumping in with little comments in character. She was a bit more distracted during combat by the sounds of Gravity Falls in the background, though. She also lost a tooth halfway through the session! This combat was also on par with her newest trend – only using Divine Smite for a crit. We had to talk with her and explain how many spell slots she has so that she would use Divine Smite to do more damage. Surina and Gobbles were getting pummeled! This will be a trend that she continues for a long time. But she’s going to play Surina the way that she wants to, and we will support her.